I am a human being

I am not a label. I am a human being.

When we create a category of people we dehumanize them, allowing ourselves to hate our fellow man. We separate we from he because of a label, because of a word. Immigrant, police, protester, liberal, the right, the rich, the poor, black, white, hispanic, Muslim, Christian, Jews. Terrorist.

These labels divide us, creating categories where truth is lost in these false lines that we draw. The borders between you and me are fictitious. How many times has the map changed in the last 100 years? 10 years? How many times in your sacred text does it say to love one another? How many of our writings are the same? Do we not all feel the same desire for life and love?

When you look into the eyes of another, regardless of race, creed, birthplace, political affiliation, gender or orientation do you see a human being or a label?
When we put another in a box, we restrict ourselves to the square space where we are defined by the label that we give to ourselves. We become the narrowly defined definition of who we are. We become the label that we give ourselves separating you from me. The truth is this: when we dehumanize one another, when we make human beings into labels, we all lose.

I am not the label that you give me. I am a complex soul seeking to be the best me that I can be.

I chose to see the humanity in each of us. I chose to connect to the best within you, mirroring the strength within me. There are no borders, no labels, no cages in my world. There are human beings, complex souls seeking truth, just like me.

Simply Passing Through

We are simply passing through. This life is a journey and like all travels we move on. The places and faces that are familiar and comforting today fade. They change. The sun sets on this time so that the moon can be revealed and a new day can dawn. The journey continues.

Letting go of the love that brightened our day, whether a friend or a lover, a child or a mother, a brother or a father, can feel like a dark night. The sun has set and we do not want to move forward into a new day. We want to return to the familiar shine of yesterday’s path. But we are simply passing through.

We are all travellers on our journey. Sometimes our traveling companions walk with us for decades, sometimes for days and sometimes they simply smile and share some soul food before they move on. None of these fellow travelers can take our steps. Each path is unique. My journey is my own.

So, I let go of those that have moved on, for they were simply passing through. The sun has set on our trek together. My journey continues into the sun of today. I allow the path to guide me because I, like you, am simply passing through.

Allow and be blessed

The sun is rising on a new day. That which has come and gone is done. The past is behind us. Let go of those things that are tethering you to your old ways of being. Let go and fly. The cords that hold you hold on to are keeping your from realizing the grace that love desires to bestow. Others cannot provide happiness. Fulfillment cannot be provided by another. It must come from within you. Let go of the cords that no longer bind you, no longer serve you. Let go of the patterns that swirl around you and keep you in the chaos of unfulfilled dreams. Step out of the old ways of being and into the possibilities that await you. Have faith that you will be provided for – that the glory and grace that the universe has in store for you is yours for the taking. Move on. Step forward. So not look back, for what is coming, what is, what shall be, is abundance, peace, love and happiness. Allow and be blessed. Let go.

The Story of Betrayal

This story of betrayal begins with words like duplicity, deception and falsehood. It whispers of secrets, unspoken lies and false love. It conjures questions of trust and self-worth. It points a finger and in the accusation sits the reality that at the core of this story lies a mirror.

For when we ignore our inner truth, the whispering intuition, we ignore our self. I only heard the words I wanted to hear. I gave meaning to the actions so that they fit into my fantasy. I ignored the nagging truth of my soul and in doing so I betrayed myself. We accept falsehood because the truth feels lonely. The lie is more comfortable. The quiet knowing was too painful and so I wrapped myself in that which I wanted to believe.

In accepting less than we desire, we betray ourselves. And when we turn our backs on ourselves, we are asking to be deceived because we are already living a lie of self-deception. We create heartache the moment we settle for anything less than love.

For, love does not betray or deceive. Love does not wound. Love is compassionate and accepting. Love is forgiving and healing. Love is big enough to encompass pain within a blanket of truth. For love is the not transient or fleeting. Love does not hurt. It is the abandonment of love that stings. It is in returning to love that we find peace.

So, as I sit in the safety of my mind’s eye, I watch the actions. I hear the words. I feel the emotions. And, here, in this safe place, I contain this story of betrayal in a bubble. It does not serve me. I choose to let it float away in the wind. Only love and the learned lesson remain.

When I loved myself enough

For years, I attempted to love everyone, give everyone what I believed that they needed. I focused on what everyone around me wanted. I was the perfect friend, employee, wife, mother, daughter. At least in my mind, anyway, I tried to be. I gave everything that I had everyday. I believed that I was loving them.

I wasn’t.

I was trying to please them, which is not the same as loving them. You see, I didn’t love me so I needed them to love me. I had this unwritten, unspoken contract in my mind: I will meet your needs and in exchange you will love me.

But it was never enough.

So, I started a mission to love myself. I set intentions, I set boundaries. I let go of expectations and hesitations. I jumped in. I played. I stayed. I let things be okay.

I took long baths and long drives. I cried. I wrote poetry. I laughed. I called old friends. I went to coffee with new ones. And every single day I told myself that I loved myself. In the bathroom mirror. In the rear view mirror. At yoga, with every breath, I told myself that I loved me.

And in the space that loving myself creates, miracles happen. Miracles that humble me to tears. Miracles that only love can create.

With the turning over of the new year, friends took the time to share with me the impact that I – no, not I – my love – has had on their lives. Their words of gratitude speak of life saving conversations, sacred space creating vulnerability and courage inspiring action. They speak of feeling supported in being who they truly are – all of them, complete and imperfectly beautiful.

My genuine response is tears, tears of gratitude. For the love that I cultivated within myself is the reason.

When I loved myself enough, I found the courage to tell my story. When I loved myself enough, I admitted my mistakes. When I loved myself enough, the love overflowed, spilling into every cup around me so that my love became their love.

When I loved myself enough, I was capable of loving you.

16 things I learned in 2016

1.) Things don’t bring happiness. The stuff that clutters our lives – the nic nacs, the fine china, the furniture that is too fancy to sit on, the shoes that were worn once 3 years ago, the books we will read someday, the half-finished craft projects, the boxes of whatever in the garage – all of it is weighing down your life. In freeing ourselves from things, we open space for creating.

2.) Beautiful places heal the soul. The beauty of this world is breathtaking. Take the time to soak in the magnificence. Hike. Travel. Bike. Sit and watch the sunset. We are surrounded by the glory of creation and yet, we walk through the day with our heads down. Look up.

3.) It is in the stillness that we glimpse the divine. Turn off the computer, the TV, the music, the chatter. Close your eyes. Listen. Step back and ask yourself who is speaking. Listen. Breathe deeply and be within yourself. It is here, in the silence, that we experience the divinity within.

4.) The people that fill our lives influence who we are. Surround yourself with inspiring people and you will be inspired. Surround yourself with negativity and you will be negative.

5.) It is never too late to transform your life. You are not stuck where you are. You can start over. You can move on. You choose every day how you live your life. You can choose to live differently. You can choose to remain the same.

6.) You are here on purpose. I am here on purpose. This moment is not an accident. This life is not a mistake. When you seek your purpose, when you choose to be your journey, the universe conspires to assist you on your path. Stand in your truth and live life on purpose.

7.) The wounded wound. Healing our own wounds in the greatest gift that we can give to the world. When we have open wounds, the pain expands outward, affecting those around us. We hurt those that we love, we hurt our community, we hurt ourselves. We cannot come from a place of loving wholeness until our wounds are scars. Healing ourselves first is our number one priority.

8.) No one can do life alone. Life is meant to be lived in community, surrounded by a tribe of family and friends that love and support us. Is it in this safe place that we thrive. Seek your tribe. They are the people that see your brand of crazy and shout, “Me too!”

9.) Growth is life. I am not the same person today that I was yesterday. I am not the person that I will be tomorrow. Seek everyday to be the best version of yourself. Seek everyday to learn, grow, expand and thrive. Challenge yourself to reach new heights or to dig deeper in the depths.

10.) Within each of us is a mystery to explore. Spend a lifetime digging deep. Dig deep within yourself. Dig deep in understanding your lover, your friends, your family, your community, your world. It is within the connection between us that life resides.

11.) Tears are drops of heaven. They are powerful. Tears connects us. Tears remind us that we are human. That we are here. That we love and feel.

12.) Do not leave words unspoken. You do not know when goodbye will come. Cherish every moment and speak the words of love that you hold within. Do not wait. For by waiting, you may be too late.

13.) You are powerful. You have the power to change the world. So do it! Change the world.

14.) You may never know that impact that you have on another. Through your words and your actions you touch the lives of those around you and through them untold lives are affected. Your smile may save someone’s life. Your words may reverberate through another causing ripples that stretch out to touch others. Be kind and careful. Make your impact a positive one.

15.) Now is all we have so live it. Live this moment.

16.) Everyone has a story to tell. If you listen, you will learn.

Clean it up

I haven’t written in awhile. I haven’t posted. I haven’t shared. I have been sitting in a place of self-doubt, self-sabotage, self-regret. In this darkness of my own making, I cannot see the blessings. I cover my eyes so that I can tell myself that I am blind. I step on hot coals so that I can claim that I was burned. I cut myself so that I can show you a wound. I rip, creating the tattered fabric of a torn life. I drag around a raincloud when the sun is shining.

What a silly way to be. Emotions come and go. Creating a world of closed doors simply because I refuse to search for the keys is never the answer.

Today I choose to step out of my funk. I choose to stand up, brush off and move on. I am never going to be perfect and thank the stars for that. Perfection is boring. I have faltered. I will fall. Instead of sitting in my crap, creating a mess of my world, I choose to clean it up. Yeah, it stinks. Yeah, it’s messy. And it is time.

Lessons learned. Life moves forward.

All has been said

I have said all there is to say. I now hold all the words that have been spoken. I do not get to choose the outcome. I simply must accept the decisions made. There is beauty in the surrender to what is. There is life in the living. There is grief in the loss. There is beauty in the heaviness. There is light in the darkness.

The next chapter will unfold in a word, in an action, in a vision of a graceful flash of what is.

I am but a witness to the greatness – that greatness that shines through each of us like a beacon of hope, the greatness that covers wounds and heals them, the greatness that shouts in anger and whispers in love, the greatness that sits in silence and revels in the fire, the greatness that sings and prays. Solemn and graceful. Sober and joyful.

It is here. It is now. It is written. That which shall be has been done. The songs have been sung and the future foretold.

I am but a witness to the greatness that is unfolding before me. I am. Simply. Here to hear.

I have made mistakes.

I have made mistakes.

What a powerful statement. How freeing to admit that I am not perfect. In fact, I have been hurtful and hateful. I have created violence with my words, tearing wounds in hearts that I promised to love. I have held on to bitterness and withheld forgiveness. I have pointed fingers and stood on soapboxes. I have made enemies based on opinions and expanded divides based on belief. I have cheated and lied. I have taken from others and from our mother without thanks or gratitude.

I have fallen again and again without facing my truth. The truth that I am human. In admitting that I have made mistakes, I give myself the gift of grace. In forgiving myself, I forgive the trespasses against me. For I now see that one cannot be true without the other.

Holding on to my self righteousness required the other to be wrong so that I could be right. When in reality, we each have simply made mistakes. I am not without fault. You are not without falter. We both are simply human beings trying to survive this human existence.

And with my eyes opened to this truth, I am free to love you because I love me. I have made mistakes. I am not a mistake. I am here on purpose and so are you.

You are here on purpose. Our mistakes do not define us, they are simply the result of this human condition. Give yourself a gift and admit that you have made mistakes.

Then forgive. Forgive yourself and stand in the freedom that these words create:
“I have made mistakes. I am not a mistake. I am here on purpose.”

 

 

Exhale. Let go. Find peace. Receive love.

Exhale.

Lay down your burdens, your fears, your tears, your sorrows. Let me hold your weary heart in my heart. Instead of crossing the valley of darkness in solitude and sadness, let me hold your hand. I will gather feathers and create a nest where you can rest. Remove the armor, the shell, the shield, the wall. Come out from hiding.

Let go.

Let go of the pain that you wear like a badge of honor. Let go of the words that hold you back and keep you trapped in a cage of your making.

Find peace.

I bandage wounds and create safe spaces for healing. Your journey is important, your strength required and your purpose critical. Let me be your oasis. Sit with me and be for awhile. Find solace in this sacred place that love creates.

Receive love.