Someday

Fear holds us in a place of Someday. Someday I will pursue my passion. Someday I will make enough money to pause. Someday I will relax. Someday I will lose weight. Someday I will attend that class, bake that cake, paint that picture, harness that power. Someday I will be old enough, pretty enough, rich enough, strong enough. Someday I will have the time, money, energy. Someday the kids will be older, the house paid off.

Someday kills today. Someday wraps us in a straight jacket disguised as a comfy blanket. Someday stifles our desires, putting that who we are in a box on a shelf replaced by a facade, an identity, a mask of who we tell ourselves we need to be. What we need to do.

Someday struggles. It generate unhappiness comparing our desires to the state that we put ourselves within. Sitting in the box that we created, the boundaries that we have defined, that we have agreed to dwell within, we look out of our cage at the wide expanses that exist in the world – all of which is open to us – and we wonder what might be possible.

Someday allows us to view the beauty that life offers and turn away. We turn away from what is possible in favor of the allusion that someday we will. Someday we might. Someday feels right.

Someday breeds sadness for in someday we glimpse the expanse and we understand the glory in creating the life we desire. And then we choose to remain in this place of self-deprecation, this place within the allusion of control where we prepare the outcome. This allusion that our habitual actions will bring happiness because we are doing what we are supposed to do. Ignoring the knowing within us that only by standing in our truth can we find meaning. Every time we choose to box the desires of our heart, we stifle our purpose and we deny the world the gifts of grace.

Like seeds, our someday desire – when planted, watered, fostered and supported – bears fruit that sustains the community around us. Standing in our truth becomes a bounty, for when we follow the desires of our heart we are following the divine calling that guides us to take our place amongst the whole.

Our purpose, our passion is our place.

It is the gift that the world needs us to fulfill. When we decide to be that which we are – no armor, no mask, no filter  – we find the path. We see that which is and has been, without the filter of “should be” based on arbitrary rules defined by others who have not embraced the truth that exists in the core of us.

And our someday becomes reality.

Gratitude attracts more reasons to be grateful

Gratitude attracts more reasons to be grateful.

Expand your life. Show gratitude. Be grateful. Extend words of thanks for all the grace that exists in your life.

Are you breathing? Thank your lungs for the hard work. Thank the trees for the oxygen they provide.

Have you eaten today? Be grateful for the harvest, for the farmer, the trucker, the grocer, the bagger. Be grateful for the living being that gave its life so that your body is nourished.

Do you have friends, family and loved ones that love you? Cherish them. Watch the love that surrounds you. See how each person in your life give so that your life is improved. Show grace. Share gratitude. Acknowledge what they mean to you.

Do you have a place to lay your head? Shelter from the weather? Look at the structure that covers you and soak in the significance. There are those that do not have a home. Look at all of the items in your home that provide comfort and beauty. Give thanks.

You are blessed. You are blessed with life and possessions. You have things. You have talents. You have friends. You have you. Take the time to give thanks for it is in gratitude that we find abundance.

Pursue Passion

“The purpose of life is to find your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.” – Picasso

Within the nagging recesses of the mind rests the question, “Why?” Why am I here? Why are we all here? Why did these things happen to me? Why didn’t I choose differently? What is the meaning? What is my purpose?

Purpose. Passion. Meaning. More. Words that pressure that which we believe we must be. When the daily routine becomes a struggle to sustain – a quiet desperation – a question of existence – we hear the question growing louder: Why?

When we stop and sit, when we quiet our minds and pause the fury, the flurry, the fast paced movement that covers the longings of the soul, we see. We feel the tug that pulls at our core. The desire to live a life of impact. And then, like a child lost in the woods, we feel as if we are unable to find the path. The answer to the questions seem overwhelming to even contemplate. And we are lost. We know on some level that the path must exist somewhere, but…

When the path is unknown we freeze. We pause. We wonder if searching for this place of purpose is worth the chance of remaining lost in the wood forever. What if we don’t know? How can we follow purpose if we do not know what it is? How can we live passionately when the daily minutiae weighs heavy on our hearts?

We pursue. We pursue passion. We seek the answers with questions. We start with the question: what have you always wanted to do and have held back because of… what? What holds you back? Pursue your curiosity. Pursue your dreams. Start with a coffee conversation or a phone call. Find a mentor or fellow traveler. Act. Overcome that which says you cannot.

Quiet the mind and pursue passion through action. Step out of the mundane and into endless possibility. One step. One action. One conversation. Don’t wait. Pursue.

You are a glorious creation

You are a glorious creation. A divine inspiration. Every cell, every sentiment, every inspiration, every action. Every smile, every tear. You are precious. Cherish the you that is. That which sits in this moment – ever changing, ever growing. Knowing. Sit in the revelry of life and love and letting go. Accept the grace of timeless knowing that you are. You exist. You persist. Your being is magnificent and holy. Your actions are steps towards you. Every lesson compounding on the one before so that you find you. This life is a journey to uncover that which is. For all that you are and all that you shall ever be is here and now in this singular moment, this timeless treasure. You sing the song that only you sing. Your being rejoicing in that which exists in the core of each of us like a drop in the ocean. Within that drop all of existence and within the whole the power to transform continents. The ebb and flow of the shore contained within one drop.

You are a ray of light. Untouchable and brilliant. Illuminating that which is. Bringing forth daylight where darkness once existed. Casting clarity on the truth that is, was and shall be. Made strong from the stuff of stars, your light vibrates with waves that reverberate far beyond what your eyes see, your fingers touch or your mouth tastes. Your light transforms sadness to acceptance, acceptance to forgiveness, forgiveness to connection, connection to silence and silence to joy. Your light feeds today so that tomorrow never occurs, this one moment becoming the whole of existence – a brilliance so bright that in a stately, solemn sanctuary you sit and are joyful. All is now.

You matter.

You, my child, are precious. You are a gift, a joy. Simply in your being, your breathing, your laughter, you are valuable.

Like a baby in the nursery, your life is inspiring. You are unique. You are the same.

Each of us has a path, a journey, a lesson to this life. Each of us has a purpose for this life. It is in being with ourselves, listening to the guidance within that we realize this truth.

You matter.

Forget fear. I am here.

Sometimes I forget that I can trust myself. That my feelings are mine. That my thoughts are mine. That I control this life that I have created. Sometimes I forget the strength that I have earned by walking through fire. Sometimes I forget that compassion is an asset, a gift, a choice. Sometimes I forget that wisdom is seeing all of the options and choosing to forge a new path, taking new steps never taken. Sometimes I lose sight of the miles that I have traveled on this journey. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I am my own alley. That I am my safe place. That I have walked the road thus far, through the desert, the mountains, the valleys, the tears, the pain, the forgiveness and the joys. I am the one that has taken the steps. I am the one that has made the choices. I am the one who fell and got back up. I am the one in the arena – living this life that I have chosen on purpose.

I choose to live out loud. Forget fear. I am here. I will make mistakes. I will cry. I will feel the feelings. I will process the thoughts. And I will take control of this life that I am creating. Because I have the strength to walk through fire, love with compassion and share the wisdom learned at the feet of masters. I make the choices. I choose to rise.

Stories

I swam in the stories that I told myself. Stories about who I was, who they were, what was done to me and how terrible my life had been. All of the stories were lies that I told myself. Lies that I believed in order to survive. Lies that kept me safely locked in my cage. Safe from the monsters that roamed at large on the other side of the bars. Safe in my ten by ten space where I walked in circles tracing my steps, round and round, walking a groove in the ground so that I could run and get around the circle quicker this time. Round and round I repeated my pattern, retold my stores, deepened the rut of my path. This pattern was safety, I lied to myself. I belonged in this place, this cage, this pattern, this life. And everything outside of the cage was dangerous. Outside of my space was wrong. I was right. This circle was truth and what lied beyond my stories was false.

What I have found is that the stories that I was telling myself kept me from living a full life. In order to break free from the cage, I let go of the stories that I put up around me to protect me from the truth. Letting go of the stories meant leaving the cage and the rut. It meant stepping into the unknown and facing the truth that there was more to life. It meant admitting that I had made mistakes, that my perception was not truth. It was simply a story.

The wonderful thing about stepping outside of the cage was the realization that there is a whole world of opportunity all around me. And in this vast space, this jungle, this forest, this air, this water, this desert, I determine my path. I am not confined to a cage but rather I am free to roam.

Jealousy

Jealousy can be a powerful teacher. That deep longing for what another has points to a place of lack in our lives. Jealousy is never caused by the actions of another, but rather touches on a wound within ourselves.

When we follow our path and stand in our own truth, we are secure in our choices. We rejoice in the bounty of another because we stand in the abundance that flows out of inner peace. We know that the riches of life are everywhere that we turn. We are no longer seeking to fill a void. We are confident in the choices that have led life to this place.

When jealousy drives our thoughts, we are living in a place of lack. A place of longing. A place of self-neglect. We are denying ourselves the bounty of living a life of choice. By choosing to live the life that we desire, we stand in the beauty of a life lived on purpose. From that place of purpose, life is boundless and the bounty of others is a reason for celebration for we understand that in their joy resides a garden of grace.

Cheers to the bounty before you, my friend, my family, my flame. Love and light.

A Mirror for the Whole

What if the pain of all of us dwells within me? What if my experiences are simply a glimpse of the darkness that dwells in the whole of human existence? That all is not light. That darkness is necessary for the ebb and flow of existence. Like the predator that feeds on living flesh, hatred, violence and chaos are all part of the circle of life. Darkness and light. Pain and pleasure. Hatred and love. Violence and compassion. Can one exist without the other? Judas enabled Jesus. Starvation empowered Gandhi.

If we are all one then I am both Judas and Jesus. Both the rapist and the victim. Both the police and the protestors. Both the prison guards and the beaten. Within me dwells the power to destroy and create. And with my words I do so. I am the god of my existence.

Every moment is a glimpse into the divine, a lesson, a light, a drop. Within that drop lies the entire ocean, the whole of creation, the singular expression of all that ever was and ever will be. I can sit within that moment oblivious to the power or I can harness the power that I hold in my existence. In my breath. In the energy that flows through my being connecting me to all of life – all experience – so that time is irrelevant. I create. It is more than choosing the light or the dark, it is taking my place in the whole so that my movements drive forward all of humanity. All of creation. Both darkness and light are needed to progress thought, to progress expansion, to progress understanding, so that neither is right or wrong. Both are required.

My pain is the platform upon which my temple is built. My darkness is the river that guides this vessel of light through the mountains toward the sea. Each experience connects me to the core of us all. The larger life of patterns within the chaos. Meaning within the mess. Grace behind the monsters. Angels and demons both guide me forward. Neither able to tamper the truth within. I am powerful for I am bigger than these moments. I am the master of my journey, my today, my future, my existence. When I seek my own truth, I find the truth that exists for all of life, for my desires are the desires of all. When I am living my purpose, all of the universe conspires to create my truth for it is in harmony with all that I am whole.

Standing in my truth is not always a joyful, blissful place. Profound leaders of life endured beatings, persecution, starvation, degradation and ruin. This battle between darkness and light conjuring the outcry of the masses so that through endurance the world was transformed. The challenges of life are the stuff of greatness. Expansion requires stretching the whole past the breaking point so that a new paradigm is created.

My story is a mirror for the whole. My painful experiences a place for connection and understanding. When I forgive myself for my mistakes, I acknowledge and accept my darkness. And in this place of forgiveness, I gain the grace to forgive the monsters that my mind created. When in truth, the perpetrator is simply the other side of the coin. He was required. Empathy cannot exist without the experiences that tear at the fabric of safety and peace, joy and love. Healing does not happen without the grace of empathy and understanding. Connections grows in the fertile soil of healing. Hatred dies when it is denied the sun by the strongly rooted trees of connection, community and determination. Love becomes the fruit of the forest. The pain is the catalyst for love. Without my scars, I would not know how to treat the wounds of the world. My pain is my platform. He is not a monster, simply the catalyst for my growth. And when I see that his is the other side to my coin, I can stand upon the foundation that he helped to create.

Strength in compassion. Wisdom in accepting. Love encompassing the whole so that we sit in the grace of this moment that both darkness and light enables.

Life of production

As I travel north on State Route 235, I am struck by an intrusion of houses among the corn fields. Organized rows of manufactured homes with tidy, tiny lawns are stuck together like rowhouses in a bustling city. Surrounding these close quarters is open land as far as the eye can see.

Like the animals that we cage for milk or meat, we create artificial barriers that contain life with a small space – a cube of existence. It occurs to me that neither the dairy cow nor the family on that lane are designed for this caged life. We need to roam. We need to stretch our legs. We need to soar. We need to share. We need to break down barriers of brick so that we can rely on our herd.

Just as we cage a dairy cow for a lifetime of production, we cage ourselves inside a box of bricks where we venture outside simply for a life of production: a job that produces the milk and honey.

A wise man told me that we accept the abuse that we believe that we deserve. The flip side of that coin is that the wounded wound. We cage and slaughter cattle because we cage ourselves and slaughter our neighbors. We cannot see the inhumanity in ourselves and so we treat the life that surrounds us as disposable.

Instead of embracing the vast open spaces, we build neat, tidy rows of stalls that we dock in every evening. We plug in and recharge so that tomorrow we will produce. We choose to live life like a dairy cow in a row of stalls of our own making where we spend a lifetime giving our life blood for someone else to drink.

I will no longer live as an animal giving my life blood to a machine. No, I am living my life on purpose. I am free to roam. I will not plug in, buy in and sell out. The world in my playground, my home, my love. And I am too big for your cage.