What if the pain of all of us dwells within me? What if my experiences are simply a glimpse of the darkness that dwells in the whole of human existence? That all is not light. That darkness is necessary for the ebb and flow of existence. Like the predator that feeds on living flesh, hatred, violence and chaos are all part of the circle of life. Darkness and light. Pain and pleasure. Hatred and love. Violence and compassion. Can one exist without the other? Judas enabled Jesus. Starvation empowered Gandhi.
If we are all one then I am both Judas and Jesus. Both the rapist and the victim. Both the police and the protestors. Both the prison guards and the beaten. Within me dwells the power to destroy and create. And with my words I do so. I am the god of my existence.
Every moment is a glimpse into the divine, a lesson, a light, a drop. Within that drop lies the entire ocean, the whole of creation, the singular expression of all that ever was and ever will be. I can sit within that moment oblivious to the power or I can harness the power that I hold in my existence. In my breath. In the energy that flows through my being connecting me to all of life – all experience – so that time is irrelevant. I create. It is more than choosing the light or the dark, it is taking my place in the whole so that my movements drive forward all of humanity. All of creation. Both darkness and light are needed to progress thought, to progress expansion, to progress understanding, so that neither is right or wrong. Both are required.
My pain is the platform upon which my temple is built. My darkness is the river that guides this vessel of light through the mountains toward the sea. Each experience connects me to the core of us all. The larger life of patterns within the chaos. Meaning within the mess. Grace behind the monsters. Angels and demons both guide me forward. Neither able to tamper the truth within. I am powerful for I am bigger than these moments. I am the master of my journey, my today, my future, my existence. When I seek my own truth, I find the truth that exists for all of life, for my desires are the desires of all. When I am living my purpose, all of the universe conspires to create my truth for it is in harmony with all that I am whole.
Standing in my truth is not always a joyful, blissful place. Profound leaders of life endured beatings, persecution, starvation, degradation and ruin. This battle between darkness and light conjuring the outcry of the masses so that through endurance the world was transformed. The challenges of life are the stuff of greatness. Expansion requires stretching the whole past the breaking point so that a new paradigm is created.
My story is a mirror for the whole. My painful experiences a place for connection and understanding. When I forgive myself for my mistakes, I acknowledge and accept my darkness. And in this place of forgiveness, I gain the grace to forgive the monsters that my mind created. When in truth, the perpetrator is simply the other side of the coin. He was required. Empathy cannot exist without the experiences that tear at the fabric of safety and peace, joy and love. Healing does not happen without the grace of empathy and understanding. Connections grows in the fertile soil of healing. Hatred dies when it is denied the sun by the strongly rooted trees of connection, community and determination. Love becomes the fruit of the forest. The pain is the catalyst for love. Without my scars, I would not know how to treat the wounds of the world. My pain is my platform. He is not a monster, simply the catalyst for my growth. And when I see that his is the other side to my coin, I can stand upon the foundation that he helped to create.
Strength in compassion. Wisdom in accepting. Love encompassing the whole so that we sit in the grace of this moment that both darkness and light enables.