I haven’t written in awhile. I haven’t posted. I haven’t shared. I have been sitting in a place of self-doubt, self-sabotage, self-regret. In this darkness of my own making, I cannot see the blessings. I cover my eyes so that I can tell myself that I am blind. I step on hot coals so that I can claim that I was burned. I cut myself so that I can show you a wound. I rip, creating the tattered fabric of a torn life. I drag around a raincloud when the sun is shining.
What a silly way to be. Emotions come and go. Creating a world of closed doors simply because I refuse to search for the keys is never the answer.
Today I choose to step out of my funk. I choose to stand up, brush off and move on. I am never going to be perfect and thank the stars for that. Perfection is boring. I have faltered. I will fall. Instead of sitting in my crap, creating a mess of my world, I choose to clean it up. Yeah, it stinks. Yeah, it’s messy. And it is time.
Lessons learned. Life moves forward.